As I gear up to end my third trimester and meet my baby girl, I started to compile a list of things that no one ever told me would happened. Everyone talks about the glow, the kicks and the baby bump. But no one ever warns you about the ugly side of pregnancy and the symptoms that come along with it. Sure, they talk about the nausea and the vomiting, but thats the “easy” stuff. I’m talking about the things that in any other circumstance would not be acceptable if you were not pregnant. So let’s keep real, I’m sharing the embarrassing truths that others seem to just gloss over, “forget” or simply not utter a word about.
*Disclaimer: This post was written with the intent to make light of said horrible pregnancy symptoms. I’ve always followed the motto ” If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?” Hopefully you’ll get a kick out of reading this post as much as I had writing it!
Yeah, you could be glowing or it could be the copious amount of sweat just dripping down your face and back. Don’t forget about the boob sweat either! Had this happen to me recently and lets just say I was not pleased.
Changes in breast size:
Your boobs will grow and so will your veins (from pumping blood). I can only imagine how big they’ll get after delivery.
You will never and I mean NEVER sleep again. Everything was fine up until I hit weeks 33-34. From then on, it was down hill. I look like a zombie in the mornings and I’m literally just going through the motions at work. When asked, I just say that I haven’t slept and all I get back is “Thats just your body preparing itself for whats to come”… Well, can it prepare itself in a different way? I would like to be able to sleep at least 6 decent hours before having to schlep myself to work.
Your face, hands, feet..basically everything will swell up. This was not an issue until weeks 33-34. Out of nowhere, my hands and feet just started to blow up like hot air balloons. My feet look like tamales at any given moment (if you’re latino you know that I’m talking about)
As you can see, they’re basically the same. To avoid this, I just end up putting my feet up, but even then I can feel my feet still swelling…alas. Oh, before I forget, your lady parts may also swell up.
Nausea and Vomiting:
It will happen anywhere and anytime. When you least expect it…BAM you’ve thrown up your fried pickles and wings. At least that happened to me during my second trimester. We were at Buffalo Wild Wings and I was enjoying my meal, when all of sudden I just felt this rush of nausea. It was then that I realized, I was about to throw up. I had to push my husband out of his seat, run down the hall and go into the handicap stall in order to throw up. But guess what happened afterwards? I still ate my fried pickles and wings that were waiting for me back at the table.
Now for the really “embarrassing” stuff…
Blows to your groins:
Yeah, you read that correctly. BLOWS to your Groins or if we want to be technical about it Lightning Crotch. I did not know such thing existed but lo and behold there is a term for it. Its basically when you feel a sudden and often sharp pain deep in your pelvis or vaginal area during pregnancy. Some pregnant ladies may feel this and others may not. It can happen anywhere, anytime and even in the most inappropriate of places. Sometimes you’ll even grab your lady parts for support. Often times, I think to myself, “So this what a kick to the balls must feel like“
I thought I was losing fluids and brought this up to my OBGYN. Turns out, I was just peeing myself. Go figure. During pregnancy, you’ll lose control of your bladder. Peezing is also a thing (where you sneeze and pee comes out) And speaking of bodily control….
Ladies, hate to break to ya, but you WILL poop yourself. And I’m not talking about pooping during labor. I’m talking about defecating (by accident) while you’re work, chilling at home or just out and about. If you follow me on instagram (blanca_beatriz_), this week I had shared that I had an interesting pregnancy joy happen to me. Well, this is was it ladies. I accidentally pooped myself. I’m not ashamed to admit this cause it happens. You literally have no control of your body! Some may ridicule me for being so open, but I did state in my first few blogs that I would be as transparent as possible.
Lots of it. You might even clear a room. But hey, at least its out.
As if peeing and pooping yourself wasn’t enough, add hemorrhoids to the mix. Supposedly, they’re unpleasant and itchy. I for one, can’t vouch for that (even though I have two). So far they’ve been nice to me but lets see if thats the case during labor and delivery, where they tend to get worse. Word of advice: drink plenty of water and have loads of fiber!
Theres definitely more “truths” about pregnancy that nobody dares to speak of. These just so happen to be the most common ones and the ones that have happened to me. Pregnancy can be beautiful as it can be gross. You’ll love and hate it all at the same time. Its a complicated relationship. But at least now you know what you can expect during these wonderful months. Don’t say nobody tried to warn you!
Don’t forget to pin, share, like or comment! Above all, lets spread awareness and laughter… ok mainly laughter!
Until next time!